13 WAYS TO PISS OFF THE BACK OF HOUSE

1.) Steal My Mise – I get that you are busy, and I get that because I too am busy. So don’t come back into the kitchen and jam your unclean hand into my cold table to steal my lime wedges without asking.

2.) Complain About Your Tips – “Man it was so slow tonight, I only made $200 in tips.” Guess what? We don’t care. And beyond that, we are sweating our asses off working in a heated pressure cooker to make you that $200 and if we are lucky we’ll see $10 of your riches.

3.) Let Orders Sit in the Pass – This is a surefire way to really get under the skin of everyone in the back of house from the Chef down to the prep cook. A lot of man hours went in to making every single plate of food. To let it sit in the pass and just die kills a part of your soul as a cook. We don’t dress our salad until the last instant because every second that ticks away causes the salad to sag and it only looks worse and worse. Don’t make my beautiful food look like crap by the time it gets to the table because pickup was called and you decided to ignore it.

BONUS POINTS – To really piss off your boh, come to the pass in a fluster and demand that you need something right away, and then disappear for 15 minutes. We might shake our heads at you when you ask, but we know we are a team and we will produce your missing food as fast as is humanly possible, often faster. So if we bust our ass to get you that food to save your tip that we aren’t going to see more than pennies of and then you don’t pick up the item you couldn’t live without it is unbelievably frustrating.

4.) Steal our Dish Washer – If you need the salt shakers to be refilled, do it yourself, don’t take the dishwasher that weneed to do actual work away from the boh.

5.) Verbalize Orders – Don’t tell me that you have a table that is ordering 3 steaks with different donenesses and allergies, write it down on a piece of paper, or better yet, ring it through.

BONUS POINTS – Verbalize an order during a rush and then come back five minutes later demanding where it is. Chances are you forgot to ring in the damn table and that’s why you verbalized the order to the boh, so don’t come back and yell at us because you messed up.

6.) Put in All Your Tables at Once – This can make a nearly empty restaurant feel full to the boh. Even if you take the orders at the same time, use that thing between your ears and space out the timing of the three tables. It won’t make a difference to the guests and it will make a huge difference to the boh. Nothing is worse than listening to a printer go off for over a minute.

7.) Ask for Your Food After 3 Minutes – Please don’t claim that your food is taking forever if it isn’t. Remember that we have the time that you put the order in printed on the chit in front of us, and we are acutely aware of how long it is taking us to get food out.

8.) Forget to Get the BOH a Drink – When it comes to liquid refreshment, nine times out of ten the boh is at the mercy of the foh. I get that the customers are a priority, but if we die of dehydration there won’t be any food to come out for the diners. Just fill a pitcher of some liquid and drop it off if you don’t have time to pour individual drinks.

9.) Complain About How Hot it Is – This makes me laugh. And then cry. Just come work a single shift over a grill and you will understand what hot means.

10.) Accept a New Table After Closing Hours – Chances are the boh has already started to turn off equipment and shut down. This happens right at closing because it takes a long time to properly clean a kitchen, hence why we leave long after the foh has left. To turn stuff back on and cook even for a single table puts the closing process behind by at least fifteen minutes, and yes, that makes a big difference.

11.) Make Reso’s all at One Time – Similar to putting your tables in all at once. Your job as the person who takes reservations is to pace the evening, stagger the tables so the evening is as easy as possible. Obviously we are going to get rushes, but if you take the time to push people to make their reservations at any other time than 7:30 it means the quality of the food will be better, the customers will get more attention from you, and you will therefore make a better tip. Everyone wins.

12.) Complain About Your “Long Day” – If your long day is eight hours, don’t bother mentioning it to the boh who are easily working twelve/day.

13.) Order Staff Meals During a Rush – This is pretty self explanatory, yet it keeps on happening everywhere, so let me explain it. You shouldn’t be taking a break during a rush, that is when all hands are needed. The boh is busy struggling to get the guests food perfect and out in a reasonable amount of time, you rank at the very bottom of the list of priorities.